Soch Ka Zavia

Main abhi tak soi howi hon is duniya k sardkhanay main jahan sard jazbon k hamil log jin k barf jaisay lehjay hain... meray ander ki sub hissyat sab narm garam jazbay in baraf ki silon main rehtay rehtay pighal ker beh gaye hain... Mere lehjay ki chashni munjamid ho ker reh gaye hai Meri ankhon ka pani kahin baraf ban ker atak gaya hay... Ajab halat hay k na zindon main shumar hoti hon na murdon main Mujhay is sard khanay say nikalo na... Mera yahan dam ghut'ta hay... Lagta hay jaisay sans k liye hawa bhi nahi rahi baraf ban gai ho wo bhi... Mujhay kuch taza hawa chaheye apnay jeenay k liye... Mujhay is barf k shehr say nijat chaheye... Mujhay azad hawaon main urna acha lagta hay... Mujhay phoolon ko choona...uski khusboo songhna acha lagta hay... Mujhay urtay pareenday bhalay lagtay hain... Mujhay samander kinara acha lagta hay... Mujhay chand ki chandni aur soraj ki kirnain roz naya paygam deti hain jo meray murda jism main aik nai rooh phoonk jati hai...

Bachpan main bacha nasamajh hota hay tou wo aag ko dekh ker bhi uski taraf lapakta hay...ye janay bagair k wo aag usko nuksan pocha sakti hay.....per bacha tou bacha he hay usko kia maloom faiday aur nuqsan ka.... Tumko tou pata tha na main kirchi kirchi hon ...raiza raiza hon...bikhr si gaye hon...mera bazahir mukamal dekhnay wala wajood namukamal hay...meray dil k tukray tukray hain kuch yahan paray hain kuch wahan....rooh k ghaow nasoor ban gai hain...na he inka ilaj mumkin hay na he in say chutkara he ho sakta hay... Tou tumne kyoon khaila meri kirchi kirchi zaat k saath....apnay bhi hath laho lohan ker dalay...khail main itna inmihak tha k apnay zakhmi honay ka bhi ahsas na howa tumhain...sach hay jab pasandeeda khilona hath lag jaye tou kuch dair uski qadr bhi rehti hay...uski dekh raikh bhi ki jati hay...dil ki masand per subse onchi manzil per usay bethaya bhi jata hay...pooja ki had tak uski parastish bhi ki jati hay....aur jab dil ukta sa jata hay na tou us khilonay ko pu...

Jab hum kisi bhi zameen main koi beej botay hain ya koi nanha sa poda lagatay hain tou hamain ye bat maloom hoti hay k is beej ko ya poday ko deekh raikh ...hawa..pani...dhoob chaon in sub ki bhi ik khas had tak zaroorat hay...aur hum uska aisa he khayal rakhtay hain jaisay ik chotay say bachay ka ....Bilkul ik maa ki terha....ik shafeeq maa ki terha.... Jab insan ka zehan bemar ho jaye tou uska ilaj mumkin hay....lekin agar zameer beemar ho ya isko bagawat ki waba lag jaye tou bas jano qamayat he toot gai....Murda dil zameer k hamil loag her ahsaas say aari hotay hain....unki kahani un say shuru ho k un per he khatum ho jati hay....un per koi mausam asar kerta hay na he khushi ghumi....wo apni zaat ki parastish main itnay magan hotay hain k unhain idher udher ki zaroorat hoti he nahi hay...Aur yehe wo loag hain jin k dilon per kufal per chuka hay....aur is kufal per jo talla laga howa hay wo zung alood hay....ye zung kisi cheiz say nahi jata...Pathrelay chehray....cha'taan ki si...

Kitna kaha tha ...kitna samjhaya tha...kitna khud ko chupaya tha...kitna dhutkara tha tumhain...kitna khud say dor rakhna ki nakam koshishain ki thin....kitna rulaya tha tumhain....kitna dil dukhaya tha k chore jao mujahay.... per tum na manay....ankhon ko ropehli khawab dekha ker....kin sapno ki jhooti wadiyon main dhakail diya tumne....kitnay suhanay mausam bataye tumne ....kitnay khawab ankhon main sajaye tumne ...per howa kia....? Kuch bhi tou nahi..... Meri zaat phansi cherh gai... Main Zindagi pe daar cherhi .... sans jism main atak si gai hay.... na he rooh qabz hoti hay.... na tanafus he bahal hota hay.... Jeena mohal sa howa jata hay... Tu mujhay kyoon rulata hay.... TU mujhay kyooon satata hay.... Tu mera imtihan kyoon laita hay ghari ghari.... AE DIL.......tou kitna bura hay...kitna bura hay.... Na he moat ko galay lagata hay... Na he zindagi ka ahsas dilata hay... AKhir TU chahta kia hay....? Bta bhi day... Kia chahta hay TU..... Fehmida Chaudhar...

Yaqeen mano k meri zaat k khandar main chup chap ik konay main bethi aik bachi jiska bachpan ik jaga tham sa gaya tha....ghanton pehron akailay bethi roti rehti hay....us k ansoo khusk kernay wala koi nahi....wo andhairay say bohat derti hay...per wo jahan jati hay ...is andhairay say chupti phirti hay.....wo andhaira us k pechay pechay chala ata hay.....us k naseeb ki terha....peecha chorta he nahi... Andhairon k asaib usay daratay dhamkatay hain...uski rooh main jazb howay jatay hain...aur wo bachi chahtay howay bhi us andhair nagri say nikal nahi pati.... Us k ander ka khauf usay maray dalta hay...wo bulbulati hay cheekhti hay...Koi hath nahi berhta...jiska hath tham k wo us asaib ki afriat say bach sakay.... Kisi ko nahi maloom k wo raiza raiza bikhar rahi hay....wo aahni devar jo us nay apnay gird bana rakhi thi wo uski tanhai ki aag say pighalti jarahi hay.... wo hairan hay wo paraishan hay k khulay asman talay wo itna lamba safar kyoon ker aur kaisay teh ker paye ge...