Soch Ka Zavia

Main ajj khushi ki shiddat say kapkapa rahi hon k Us ki rehmat say sarshar ho ker....per mera dil Allah ki bargah main sajda raiz hay aur Main Uski meherbaniyon karamnawaziyon ka jitna bhi shukar karon wo kam hay.. Jab ye nanhay nanhay poday meri zindagi main aye thay tou meray weham o guman main bhi na tha k inki dekh bhal k liye mujhay akailay sard o garm say larna hoga....mujhay in ki deekh bhaal kerni hogi..waqt per sub kuch hota gaya...kabhi kabhi mujhay bohat der bhi lagta k agar main apni zimmaydariyon main kamyab na ho paye...Khuda na khawasta ye phool murjha gaye tou...Ye mera Allah janta hay k main k main kab kab bekarar ho ker roi ...kab kab thak k ...haar k beth gai aur naye siray say in k liye uth khari howi...Ye himmat meray Maula nay mujhay de... Jab hum koi bhi beej daltay hain koi poda ugta hay...us per kali phool lagtay hain...hamain bohat khushi hoti hay....per ye khushi dugni ho jati hay...jab in podon ki tareef koi dosra karay ... hamain lagta hay hum nay ik j...

Dedicated to my beloved bro on his death anniversary....22 August Wo meray dost thay...Meray mehboob bhai thay...Meray raazdan bhi thay...Unki jaga...Unka muqam...ajj bhi dil k sub say oper walay khanay main mojood hay... Baap ki si shafqat....dost ki si mohabat...kia kuch nahi dia tha unhon nay mujhay.... Kuch bhi bacha nahi hay meray pass bhai .....ik aap k janay k baad.... Meri in tooti phooti si berang shairi aur alfazon ko ap nay is terha saraha tha k mera khoon dhairon berh jata tha...Meri pagalon wali batain kitni sanjeedgi say sun ker ap muskuraya kertay thay...yaad hay mujhay.... Mujhay ap say sirf aik he shikayat hay....k ap nay janay main itni jaldi ki.....bohat jaldi ki....Log kehtay hain k waqt k saath saath ghum halka perta hay...per ye ap k janay ka ghum kyoon halka nahi para....joun  ka toun hay...raaton ko tanhai main jab yaad ati hay na bhai ...bohat rulati hay....bohat rulati hay.... Allah Tallah apki tamam ter manzilain asan karay aur aala jaga ata k...

Main jab apni tehreerain perhti hon tou na janay kyoon lagta hay k ye sub main keh tou nahi pati tou phir kaisay meray kalam ki nook kagazon main ye zeher ugalti hay.....Main jo sochti hon .. Main jo bolti hon...Main jo kehti hon...wo sub tou 10% bhi main likh nahi pati...janay kyoon aik khas had tak he kalam zeher ugalta hay... Main ajj kal bohat hairan hon ...bohat pareshan hon.... Koi bataye ga mujhay.....? Ye main he hon......???? Ya koi Aur.... Ye mujh main kon bolta hay........? Ye kon hay jo meri zaat k sub raang kholta hay.... Fehmida Chaudhary... 22 August 2013

Hum sub mitti k banay hain,,,,kichar wali mitti....phir bhi khud ko aala samajhtay hain...bakamal samajtay hain....jhuknay main sharmatay hain...galtiyon ker k dandanatay phirtay hain...sachai ko jhatak detay hain ...achai ko bura aur burai ko acha kehtay hain....Garoor say gardan taan k chaltay hain ye sub bhool ker k ye zameen hum se her cheiz ka hisaab mangay gi...hum magan hain ...hum ahsaas bhi nahi kertay.... main bhi mitti ka putla hon....magar ahsaas mar gaye janay kyoon meray...ab kisi bhi baat ka , durd ka , ranj ka , judai ka, khushi ka.......ahsaas he nahi hota.... Duniya main tou kabhi na kisi say zehan mila na dil..... phool ugati hon khaaar ugtay hain.... piyar deti hon nafratain pati hon.... aetibar deti hon...be-aetibari pati hon... khushi deti hon...dukh pati hon... Meri galti ye nahi k main saaf goo hon...meri sub say bari galti ye hay k mera double standard nahi hay....apnay liye kuch aur rules aur dosron k liye kuch aur....ye baat mujh se hazam he nahi h...

Meray jism o jaan say llipti ye tanhai ki aa'kaas bail mujhay jakar k rakhay howay hay...is bail nay meray wajood ki tamam ter raanaiyan, shokhiyaan, yahan tak k meray jism ki nas nas ko nachore k rakh dia hay... Ye jo ankhon se  bin mausam barsat hoti hay wohi is bail ko namoo deti hay... Is qaid say farar kab mumkin hay...? kesay mumkin hay....? Main roz subha is akaas bail ko dekhti hon is umeed pay k meri rag rag ko nachore dainay wali is tanhai ki moat kab hogi...kab is bail say koi phool bota photay ga...main roz is bail ki abyari kerti hon....ik dafa is bail pay ik surkh gulab khilah tha....khoon ki manind surkhi thi uski....us may say subha o sham khoon rista rehta tha armano ka...aetibar ka....yaqeen ka....main nay khud he noch dala usay k mujhse mazeed aziat bardasht he na hoti thi... Fehmida Chaudhary 14th August 2013