Wo mere samnay khari thi . Maine dekha us ki ankhon k gird siyah halkay us k rutjaggon ka jeeta jagta saboot paish ker rahay thay.
Maine us se pocha ....? Tumhain Kia howa hay....?
Wo isteh'raa'ia andaz main hansi...
Us waqt mujhay mehsoos howa k uski khamoosh ankhon main nami utr ai hay... Us k lab khulay aur wo dheeray se sir jhuka k boli.... "Mujhay IDRAAK howa hay "....
Maine hairat se uski taraf dekha aur sawal kia....?? Kis cheiz ka IDRAAK howa hay ...? Main samjhi nahi tumhari baat ka matlab....?
Wo muskurane ki nakam koshish kertay howay boli....
"App ko pata hay maine kabhi armaan nahi palay, na he bari bari khawahishain ki hain...App hairaan hongi meri zindagi ki sub se bari khawahish yehi THI k jab main maron to koi aik shaks "SIRF MUJHAY"
roye...
Us k ansoo dekhaway k na hon...
Wo sirf meri khatir....meray liye roye....
Kia ye koi bohat he bari khawahish thi?
Ya
Apni had se ziada maang lia tha maine....?
Wo hizyaani c hansi...................hansi thi...
Aur sawaliya nazron se mujhay dekh rahi thi...
Is waqt us k chehre per mujhay duniya bhar ka dukh aur qarb ki perchaiyaan mehsoos howi...
Maine kaha..... Nahi tou
Ye koi bari khawahish tou na thi....aur tum bar bar "YE KHAWAHISH THI"
keh rahi ho....Kia ye khawahish ab nahi hay ya khawahish badal chuki hay kisi dosri khawahish main....?
Aur
Abhi tumne ye bhi zikr kia tha k tumhain IDRAAK howa hay....
Kia? aur kis baat ka idraak howa hay tumhain...bataogi mujhay bhi....?
Wo udaas lehjay main boli...is baat ka idraak howa hay k is duniya main koi kisi ka nahi hay...aur main bhi to isi duniya ki baasi hon ...tou koi kyoon? kesay? aur kyoon ker? hoga mera....Log jeetay jagtay, chamakte, muskuratay chehron k pojari hotay hain ... koi kyoon ker mujh jesi bujhay diye ki manind hasti ko apnaey ga...? Aur aap khawahish k mutalik jo poch rahi hain tou khawahish main badlao aya hay meri aur iski wajah yehi IDRAAK hay jo mujhay barson pehlay he ho jana chaheye tha....
Maine hairaat se us PAGAL LARKI ko dekha...jane kis dais se ai thi wo....?
Dikhne main mazboot aasaab ki malik lagti thi aur baton se mehsoos hota tha moam ki guriya ho jesay....
Maine baat ko berhana chaha aur boli...
Ab tumhari khawahish badal gai hay..abhi tumne bataya tha...tou kia tum ye batana pasand karogi k ab kia khawahish hay tumhari....?
Ab.......???
wo khoye howay andaaz main boli...
App shayad mujhay aziat pasand samjhain magar
Ab meri khawahish hay k meri mout aise ho
k jab main maron to meri laash ki hazaron tukray hon ...
koi idher giray ....koi udhar giray
samaitna bhi chahe koi to samait na paye....
koi shanakht he na rahay meri...
ye bolte bolte us ki ankhon ki surkhi youn mehsoos ho rahi thi goya ankhon me waqia'tun khoon uter aya ho....
Mera rowan rowan khara hogaya uski wehshat dekh ker...
Main jan'na chahti thi uski is khawahish k badlao ki wajah....
Tum aisi khawahish kyoon rukhti hon ....batao na mujhay...
Maine phir sawal kia ?
Us k hont larzay thay.... wo goya howi...
Jab main zinda aur mukamal wajood thi us waqt meri hasti ko jitna perkha gaya utna samjha nahi gaya... maine her wo amal kia jis se dosron se khushi milay chaheye wo meray liye kitna he aziat nak kyoon na ho...per wo jo be'nishani meri qismat me likh di gai thi wo zindagi k her rishtay . her manzil main mera muqadar rahi...meri zindagi aik khana badosh ki c rahi jiska koi aik thikana nahi hota... der der ki thokarain uska naseeb hota hay...
Ye hay meri khawahish k badlaoo ki wajah...
wo siskiyon k saath ronay lagi....
Maine haath berha k us k ansoo saaf kerna chaheye...
per gaur kernay per pata chala k
main aainay me
APNE HE AKS
se mukhatib thi....
Written by Fehmida Chaudhary
24th November 2016