Soch Ka Zavia

Garmi sardi khizan bahar ye saray mausam tou qudrat k banaye howay hain....un k alag he rang hain... Mujhay tou in mausamon k anay janay ka pata he nahi chalta ...kab aye ....kab gaye....meray dil ka mausam tou her so aik sa he rehta hay.....jahan sun'nata hay....tareeqi hay...tanhain hay...aik ankahi si dard bhari kahani hay.....kia nam don is mausam ko....haan...shayad .....ye Bedard sa mausam he tou hay.... Ye bedard mausam bara he bedard hota hay....jo hamaray dilon main yaadon k darwazay khol daita hay....Aur wo loag hamain bohat yaad atay hain jo hamain ghumon, tanhaiyon  aur tareeqiyon k hawalay ker gai hon...jin k honay say hotay thay zamanay apnay....ya jin k honay ka ahsas he hamarai subh o sham howa kerta tha....Wo jo hamaray thay he nahi...unko apna maan ker zindagi ki bagh dor thama dali aur unki betawajihi nay hamain ahsas e mehroomi ki gehri khaae main dhakhail dia.... is gehri khaae main na tou khul k sans lainay ki gunjaish hay na he is khaae say bahar anay k...

Log samajhtay hain k main zinda ho......per ........main tou mar gai hon.....unhain shkayat hay k main unhain bhool gai hon....Magar aisa nahi hay...main tou shayad khud ko he bhool bethi hon...Main tou main he nahi rahi....Main tou shayad apni he talash main nikli thi aur khud he khoo gai........Mujhay khud apna pata nahi maloom.... Ye jo jism hay chalata phirta batain kerta ye tou bas ik sirab hay....aasaib he sa hay bas....chalta phirta aasaib....jo apni zaat ki shanakht chahta hay.. Na janay ye bhatukna kab khatum hoga.... Hoga bhi k nahi.... Main talash rahi hon apna app. Ye jantay howay bhi k wo din kabhi nahi aye ga .... Kabhi bhi nahi........

Duniya main reh ker ab tak jitnay logon say main mili hon....sub k sub apna time pass ker rahay hain...jhootay faraibi...khayal, mohabat, fikr ka faraib de ker....der hakikat tou wo apna time pass kertay hain hay.....Sirf time pass.... Meri galti ye k main shor nahi machati kamon ka , masroofiat ka....kia wahwaila kerna jab kerna he tehra....Time kab hota hay kisi k pass...time tou nikalna perta hay....per nahi time nikalna he nahi chahye....apni zaat ko bhi kuch waqt dena chaheye....akhir ko hamain khud he khud k kam ana hota hay.... Duniya main ik cheeze jo heeran si ker daiti hay wo ye k ... jo log bari bari batain....daway kertay hain wo he sub say ziada zaat k bonay hotay hain...khokhalay daway , lafzon ka jaal daal ker samanay walay ko maroob kernay ki koshish main masroof k hum tumharay k liye mukhlis hain....Mera manna hay k lafzon ya baton say ziada insan kuch ker k samnay walay ko unkaha sa ahsas de jaye k hamain tumhara khayal hay...

Mere dil o demagh aik he nuqtay per markooz hain ..kab say ander he ander main ye soch rahi hon k main zindagi k maidan main Nakamyab kyoon tehri.....? Jab zehan main khud say kai sawal pochay tou apni he zaat main beshumar khamiyan nazar aain....Haan main duniya jaisi nahi hon isliye he shayad nakamyab hon....ujri howi hon....berang hon... Main doghli nahi hon bas....jo maan main aye baat keh dali ...na agay socha na peechay ...jo hay so hay.... Mujhay main aur bhi aik khami hay...mujhse haan main haan nahi milai jati.... Mujhay shatranj ki chalain khailni nahi ati....Samnay acha ban ker paish ana aur peth peechay bura bhala...mujhse aisa nahi hota..... Mujhay tou ye tak nahi ata k ....waqt aur haalat k lehaz say apni statements main tarmeem ker laina....Mujhay tail aur tail ki dhar dekh ker chalna bhi nahi ata.... Main is duniya k logon ki dor main bhagna tou dore ki baat hay...chaal bhi nahi sakti..... Main nay na tou haar mani hay aur na he main jeet pai hon....Main nay tou...

Tum jo meray khooni rishtay ho....kehnay ki had tak he sahi....per kia kabhi aisa howa hay tumharay saath k bethay bethay he ankhain bhar aye hon.....ankhon say ansoon ka ik sailab rawan hogaya ho....kia howa hay aisa kabhi ? yaqeen jano agar howa hay na tou tum mano ya na mano.....Ye meri ankhain yahan roi hain na durd o ghum ki shiddat say tou ye ansoon ka salaib tumhari ankhon say rawan howa hay....Magar tum nahi mano gay....tumharay dil per kufl lag chuka hay behissi ka....bedardi ka....Sonay ka kufl....dolat ka kufl jiski chabi Dil ki narmi aur reham thi.....per wo tou kho di tumne...dolat k anbar talay.... Tum Khuda say kyoon ker koi gillah kar sako gay k wo tum per reham nahi kerta....jab tum us Khalq e Khuda per reham nahi kertay...? Tum nay kaha tha na tum soye nahi kuch dino say....aur mera kia ? jis ko chain say soye howay bhi arsa beet gaya .... ungliyon per gin sakti hon ik ik neend ka pal.....jo kam he naseeb howa mujhay.... Tum so bhi kaisay saktay ho....tumko cha...

Duniya k bazar main her cheez ki koi na koi keemat hay...jazbon ki....izzat ki....achai ki ....burai ki...is duniya k bazar main baap bhai ho k shohar beta.....apni ana apni hatdharmi apni so called izat k liye jab maa beti behen jaisay rishton ko apni zarooraton k mandir per bhaint cherhatay hain tou .....in mardon ko koi kyoon nahi pochta...wo mazboot hotay howay kyoon in aurton ko istimal kerta hay...kyoon....? usko ye mashra kyon JISMON ka buyopari nahi kehta.... Aurat pait ki aag bujhanay k liye inhe mardon k hathon majboor bebas ho ker inki shaitaniyat ka shikar ho ker bhi.....Wohi aurat buri hay.....Wohi maushray ka nasoor hay....Aur ye jo mard nam k bhai betay baap jaisay rishton k buyopari darindon ki manind in aurton ko rasmon ki bhaint cherhatay hain ya virasat taqseem kernay say bachnay k liye in k hakook ka ahsisal kertay hain......wo bhairiye tou us tawaif say bhi gaye guzray hain jo roz apnay pait poja k liye un ko apni adaon ka soda kerti hay...... Ye mard tou us t...

Main apni zaat k tareeq seelan zada teeh khanay main bachi kuchi zindagi k pal gin gin k guzar rahi thi....guzar he nahi rahay thay ye pal......din tou dore ki bat hay.... Dil k zang zada Derwazay pay ik namanoos si dastak ki awaz gongi ik roz....main tanhai say naraz thi bhag ker darwaza khol bethi....wo darwaza jis ko band howay aarsa beet chuka tha....zangalood dil ka zangalood darwaza...aur ik namanoos si shakal meri zaat k teeh khanay main dakhil ho gai....main bebas si thi....rok bhi na saki.... Main us ko sehaili bana bethi....Usko apna hamraaz bana lia aur pata bhi chala khud mujhko....meri zaat ki pert der pert kab utar ker girti gain.....main khud mehsoos na ker paye....main jo khud apnay khol main arsay say band thi......us hisar ko paar kia kya maine......main badal gaye..........meray hath main na us waqt kuch aya jab main chuphi pehaili thi na he tab kuch hath aya jab apni zaat ki tasheer kerdali.... Main nay jo perhka jo samjha wo ye he hay k jab tak hum apni zaat...

Main abhi tak soi howi hon is duniya k sardkhanay main jahan sard jazbon k hamil log jin k barf jaisay lehjay hain... meray ander ki sub hissyat sab narm garam jazbay in baraf ki silon main rehtay rehtay pighal ker beh gaye hain... Mere lehjay ki chashni munjamid ho ker reh gaye hai Meri ankhon ka pani kahin baraf ban ker atak gaya hay... Ajab halat hay k na zindon main shumar hoti hon na murdon main Mujhay is sard khanay say nikalo na... Mera yahan dam ghut'ta hay... Lagta hay jaisay sans k liye hawa bhi nahi rahi baraf ban gai ho wo bhi... Mujhay kuch taza hawa chaheye apnay jeenay k liye... Mujhay is barf k shehr say nijat chaheye... Mujhay azad hawaon main urna acha lagta hay... Mujhay phoolon ko choona...uski khusboo songhna acha lagta hay... Mujhay urtay pareenday bhalay lagtay hain... Mujhay samander kinara acha lagta hay... Mujhay chand ki chandni aur soraj ki kirnain roz naya paygam deti hain jo meray murda jism main aik nai rooh phoonk jati hai...

Bachpan main bacha nasamajh hota hay tou wo aag ko dekh ker bhi uski taraf lapakta hay...ye janay bagair k wo aag usko nuksan pocha sakti hay.....per bacha tou bacha he hay usko kia maloom faiday aur nuqsan ka.... Tumko tou pata tha na main kirchi kirchi hon ...raiza raiza hon...bikhr si gaye hon...mera bazahir mukamal dekhnay wala wajood namukamal hay...meray dil k tukray tukray hain kuch yahan paray hain kuch wahan....rooh k ghaow nasoor ban gai hain...na he inka ilaj mumkin hay na he in say chutkara he ho sakta hay... Tou tumne kyoon khaila meri kirchi kirchi zaat k saath....apnay bhi hath laho lohan ker dalay...khail main itna inmihak tha k apnay zakhmi honay ka bhi ahsas na howa tumhain...sach hay jab pasandeeda khilona hath lag jaye tou kuch dair uski qadr bhi rehti hay...uski dekh raikh bhi ki jati hay...dil ki masand per subse onchi manzil per usay bethaya bhi jata hay...pooja ki had tak uski parastish bhi ki jati hay....aur jab dil ukta sa jata hay na tou us khilonay ko pu...

Jab hum kisi bhi zameen main koi beej botay hain ya koi nanha sa poda lagatay hain tou hamain ye bat maloom hoti hay k is beej ko ya poday ko deekh raikh ...hawa..pani...dhoob chaon in sub ki bhi ik khas had tak zaroorat hay...aur hum uska aisa he khayal rakhtay hain jaisay ik chotay say bachay ka ....Bilkul ik maa ki terha....ik shafeeq maa ki terha.... Jab insan ka zehan bemar ho jaye tou uska ilaj mumkin hay....lekin agar zameer beemar ho ya isko bagawat ki waba lag jaye tou bas jano qamayat he toot gai....Murda dil zameer k hamil loag her ahsaas say aari hotay hain....unki kahani un say shuru ho k un per he khatum ho jati hay....un per koi mausam asar kerta hay na he khushi ghumi....wo apni zaat ki parastish main itnay magan hotay hain k unhain idher udher ki zaroorat hoti he nahi hay...Aur yehe wo loag hain jin k dilon per kufal per chuka hay....aur is kufal per jo talla laga howa hay wo zung alood hay....ye zung kisi cheiz say nahi jata...Pathrelay chehray....cha'taan ki si...

Kitna kaha tha ...kitna samjhaya tha...kitna khud ko chupaya tha...kitna dhutkara tha tumhain...kitna khud say dor rakhna ki nakam koshishain ki thin....kitna rulaya tha tumhain....kitna dil dukhaya tha k chore jao mujahay.... per tum na manay....ankhon ko ropehli khawab dekha ker....kin sapno ki jhooti wadiyon main dhakail diya tumne....kitnay suhanay mausam bataye tumne ....kitnay khawab ankhon main sajaye tumne ...per howa kia....? Kuch bhi tou nahi..... Meri zaat phansi cherh gai... Main Zindagi pe daar cherhi .... sans jism main atak si gai hay.... na he rooh qabz hoti hay.... na tanafus he bahal hota hay.... Jeena mohal sa howa jata hay... Tu mujhay kyoon rulata hay.... TU mujhay kyooon satata hay.... Tu mera imtihan kyoon laita hay ghari ghari.... AE DIL.......tou kitna bura hay...kitna bura hay.... Na he moat ko galay lagata hay... Na he zindagi ka ahsas dilata hay... AKhir TU chahta kia hay....? Bta bhi day... Kia chahta hay TU..... Fehmida Chaudhar...

Yaqeen mano k meri zaat k khandar main chup chap ik konay main bethi aik bachi jiska bachpan ik jaga tham sa gaya tha....ghanton pehron akailay bethi roti rehti hay....us k ansoo khusk kernay wala koi nahi....wo andhairay say bohat derti hay...per wo jahan jati hay ...is andhairay say chupti phirti hay.....wo andhaira us k pechay pechay chala ata hay.....us k naseeb ki terha....peecha chorta he nahi... Andhairon k asaib usay daratay dhamkatay hain...uski rooh main jazb howay jatay hain...aur wo bachi chahtay howay bhi us andhair nagri say nikal nahi pati.... Us k ander ka khauf usay maray dalta hay...wo bulbulati hay cheekhti hay...Koi hath nahi berhta...jiska hath tham k wo us asaib ki afriat say bach sakay.... Kisi ko nahi maloom k wo raiza raiza bikhar rahi hay....wo aahni devar jo us nay apnay gird bana rakhi thi wo uski tanhai ki aag say pighalti jarahi hay.... wo hairan hay wo paraishan hay k khulay asman talay wo itna lamba safar kyoon ker aur kaisay teh ker paye ge...

Suna tha aasman pay chand nikla tha.... Suna tha Eid aye thi.... Suna tha rang barangay anchal lehraey thay... Suna tha rang hatheli pay mehndi ka gehra tha... Suna hay hathon aur balon main motiye k gajray khusboo phelatay thay.... Manzar badalta hay.... Kahin aik andhairay kamray main... wo aik bebas, bekas si Larki... zindagi k imtihan main... jo nakam tehri thi.... Apnay ansoonon se takye ko  bhigonay main mashghool c larki... Tha rang zard uska Ankhon main halkay paray thay.... Hansi ki oat main uski Ghamon ki daastan rakam thi.... Wo band kamray main bethi na janay kyoon...??? Kisi roshni k intizar main  kai saalon say so nahi pai.... Wo rona chahti tou hay... Per ro nahi pai.... Usko yaqeen nahi ab Kisi mojzay ka zalim........ Wo raah tak rahi hay..... Farishtaah e ajal ka..... Wo muntazir ankhain ab benoor ho chuki hain.... Wo khawahishon k phool kab k murjha chukay hain.... Wo tamanaon k sagar dum kab k tor chukay hain.... Wo zindagi say bherpore Larki Zindagi say ...

Main bethay bethay na janay kia sochnay lagi k ZINDAGI akhir hay kia bala.....Kabhi meherban si lagti hay ..us maa ki terha jo chotay bachay ko hath paker ker chalna seekhaati hay...kabhi itni shafeeq k girnay ko hotay hain per hath than k sambhal laiti hay...Kabhi itni zalim k naraz ho ker dore kharay ho ker hamain girtay dekhti hay aur hamain koi rond  bhi jaye tou bhi ye tus say mas nahi hoti....dohray roop hain iskay.....kyoon kerti hay ye aisa hamaray sath....rang kyoon badalti hay....dhab kyoon badalti hay....kabhi meherban aur kabhi ajnabi....kabhi hamdard aur kabhi laparwa......Zalim kahin ki......bewafa bhi ho jati hay....jab dil chahey tou....Wafa tou ye kisi say bhi nahi kerti..... Hum zindagi k baray main mukhtalif tujziye kertay rehtay hain aur ye bhool jatay hain k asal main zindagi hamara tajzia ker rahi hoti hay.... Mehez apnay liye jeena tou zindagi nahi hoti....Log kehtay hain k sirf apnay liye jeenay wala aur sirf apnay baray main sochnay wala tanha reh jata ...

Shehr e khamoshan akhri aram gah........jahan na koi chota na bara.....na koi ameer na gareeb...na ghamon ka mara...na khushyon ka karobar.....na haar....na singhar...sub he kuch bekar.........sub kuch....... Aik shehr e khamoshan mere dil k ander........ jahan dafan kiye main nay saray rishtay hon yahan k hon paar saath samander........

Suno........!!! Tum mard zaat ho...tumko sab jaiz hay...sach ko jhoot...jhoot ko sach....galat ko sahi...sahi ko galat...din ko raat...raat ko din..tum jo kaho bas waisa hay....tum jitnay rang badlo........tumko jaiz hay...dosra badlay tou girgit hay....tum chori karo ...tou jaiz hay.....Dosra karay tou gunahgar hay....Tum behroop badlo aur bat bat pay jhoot bolo...tumko jaiz hay...tum mard hona .....tumko sab jaiz hay....tum bilawajah jhoot k anbar laga do tou jaiz hay....dosra apni dastan e ghum ko chupanay ki khatir bolay wo jhoota .... Tum her jaga fateh e aalam tehray........main nay mana....... Per ye tou bata do ....Kis nam say pukaron ......? Kia nam hay tumhara.....? Bhais badal badal ker nam badal badal ker jo insan khud apnay ap say dhaga karay kia wo sacha hay....Tum to apnay nahi ho.....tum aur kabhi kisi k hogay........Nahi.......Kabhi nahi......... Mera apna nam tou hay.....main achi hon k buri ......mujhay garz nahi....per  main kisi ko kuch kehnay ka haq bhi n...

Haan...mujh main he kuch kami hay.....k main kisi ko bhi apna nahi bana pati...per main khud ko is duniya k jangle main daswa daswa k thuk gai hon...ab meri rooh tak zeher phail chuka hay...jis ka koi tiryak he nahi...Main bebas hon...Main is beaetibari k hathon bohat bebas hon.... Main jis rang ko bhi hath lagaon wo kacha hota hay....jab tak cherha rehta hay jab tak hath dhoo na lon...phir rangat he zayal ho jati hay iski...... Is beaetibari nay mujhay aur kuch dia ho na dia ho AIK AETIBAR to dia he hay....ye aetibar k ab koi mujhay mazeed tabah nahi ker sakay ga...Haan bas aik ye he aetibar k like bat hay aur kuch nahi.... Fehmida Chaudhary 08th August 2012

Ajj k nafsanafsi k dor main hum jahan apnay sakhafati ikdar ko bhool bethay hain wahan mazhab ki lailmi nay hamain sahi simt ka tayun kernay say mehroom rakha howa hay.... Hum aik aam insan hain...khattah kerna hamari fitrat main shamil hay...kabhi jantay bojhtay howay kertay hain aur kabhi laa'shauri tor per khattah sirzurd ho jati hay...aur kabhi halaat o waqiyat is k zimmay dar hotay hain ...Achay aur buray doston ki sohbat say bhi bohat farq parta hay...Hamaray mazhab main isiliye hamain rozmarah k kamon ko anjam denay k liye misaalon say, hawalon say,  waqiyat say acha bura samajhnay ki talkeen ki gai hay...Quran aik behter zerya hay zindagi guzarnay k saleeqay  seekhany k liye aur her maslay ka hul aur raah numai is main di gaye hay... Islam main faqat Shirk kerna aisa gunnah hay jis ki maufi nahi hay...Wagerna degar tamam gunnahon k liye ye wazahat bayan ki gai hay k agaer kisi shaks k gunnah aisay hain jis ki maufi nahi hay aur us k nama e amal main aisay naik amal...

Log mujhse mera taaruf pochtay hain ... wo pochtay hain k main kon hon...Main unko kis terha bataon k main kon hon..kyoon k main tou kuch hon he nahi...honay aur na honay k darmiyan hay meri zaat...koi shanakht hay he nahi....koi pata hay he nahi... Main logon ko kis terha bata sakti hon k main wo zinda lash hon jis k armanon nay kafan ka safaid jora pehna hay....jis k khawab andhairay koo'ain main khudkashi ker chukay hain...Jiski tamanain lab per anay say pehlay he dam tore chuki hain....Main kis terha bataon unko....kis terha...? Meri soch mera saath denay say he munkir ho jati hay jab likhna chahon k main kia hon...Apni zaat k khander main khud he do char cheikhain mar k wapis ajati hon k MAIN KON HON??? KON HON MAIN............??? Taa'ruf.... My own nazam.... Loag mujh say mera taa'ruf pochtay hain... Main unko kis terha bataon??? K Main wo zinda lash hon Jis k khawabon nay kafan ka safaid jora pehna hay Jis k chehray pay udasiyon k dairay hain Aur Jahan hijr ka i...

Aurat jis may Rab nay bardash aur sabr ka madah her aik say ziada rakha hay..Bazahir nazuk nazar anay wali ye sinf e nazuk derhaqiqat bohat bahadur hoti hay...Karay say karay imtihan main apnay apko mazboot bana ker her had se guzar jati hay...per kisi ko nahi maloom hota k ye bazahir bahadur nazar anay wali....ander say kitni darpook aur kamzoor hay... Hamaray mazhab Islam nay aurat ko jo rutba dia hay wo kisi mazhab main nahi .... per ye society k thaikaidar Mazhab ki aar main aurat ka ahtisaal kertay nahi thaktay... Jab aurat sabr aur bardast ki tamam manzilain teh ker lay aur phir usko chup lag jaye tou uska matalab hay k wo thak zaroor gai hay magar apnay RAB per us nay maumla chore dia hay...aur wo RAB tou munsif hay aur insaf kernay wala hay...Kisi bhi aurat ki khamoshi k peechay kia kurb palta hay ye koi aurat he jan sakti hay....Ye khamoshi aik aisa jazeera hota hay jahan roz atish fishan phattay hain....laway ubaltay hain magar samander jaisa zarf rakhnay wali wo sinf e n...

Aisa nahi tha k zindagi k kisi lamhay apnay paida kernay walay ko bhooli hon main....Mujhay shuru say he der lagta tha ... k meri zaat se kisi ko agar faida na bhi ponchay tou nukhsan bhi na ponchay...Meri her mumkin koshish hoti k meri zaat se kisi ko koi takleef na ho...ranj na ho...main kabhi kisi k liye bura na sochon...her mumkin kam aon...Main logon ko khush kernay main lagi rahi...aur apna ap bhool gaye...Pata nahi kyoon shuru se he meray sath aisa kyoon hay k main sub ka khayal tou ker laiti hon per apna khayal rakhwana aya he nahi....Aisa nahi k kabhi mujhay sadma nahi howa kisi bat ka ...per main akser ye socha kerti k jo bin kahay hamara khayal na rakahin hum bol ker apnay alfaz ya man kyoon gunwa'ain...Zindagi k roz o shab guzartay chalay gaye aur hasil o hasool ka shumar na bhi kia jaye to apni bekadri zar zar rula deti thi... Log tab tak hamaray hotay hain jab tak hamari zaat un k liye kisi faiday ka mazhar hoti hay...nazar k samnay say gaye nahi k TU kon ya Main ko...

Zindagi her aik mor .... her aik manzar ..pay nai azmaish ban ker insan k samnay ati hay kabhi kabhi hum manzil per pohanch janay ki umeed liye safar per rawan dawan rehte hain aur kabhi kabhi sabit qadam nahi reh patay aur hamaray qadam larkharanay lagtay hain...Laikin halaat kuch bhi hon hamain zindagi ki rahon per safar kerna he parta hay...ye safar kabhi ghum lata hay tou kabhi khushi ...laikin kabhi kabhi ye musalsal dukh ki raah ka safar ban jata hay....aik aisa safar jisko na chahtay howay bhi hamain anjam dena parta hay... Hum to wo loag hain jo kisi ginti main atay he nahi....na he kisi nigah ka markaz...na he kisi ki duaon k hisaar main mehfooz.... Zindagi k lak o dak sehra main sehra sehra khaak chantay howay ..idher udher bhataktay howay aur agar hum say koi poochay tou hum batain usko k HUM kon hain ....???? Hum btain k hum wo log hain jo apni zindagi day ker bhi kisi k dil main musskun na bana paye...dil main zerra baraber bhi jaga na bana paye... Hum to koi madha...

Hazrat Ali ki bat ka mafhoom ......kisi bhi shaks ki zaroorat ka tumse mansoob hona ...Allah ka tumhari zaat per ahsan hay k usne tumhain is qabil samjha k tum kisi ki zaroorat pora kernay ka waseela bano... Aur ye bhi bataya k jab kisi shaks ko Allah financial asoodgi deta hay tou wo iska imtihan hota hay ... k ya tou wo isay Allah ki khushnodi k liye kharch ker lay aur Allah se tijarat kerlay ya dolat ki chamak dhamak main gum ho ker Allah ka khauf he dil se mitta day....... Wo bhi apni mushkil k liye apnay Rab ko waseela bana ker bhai k der pay gai thi... Aik man tha usko ... per usko dhutkar diya gaya ..... sangsar kiya gaya......lafzon k zeherelay teeron say... aur kaha gaya ....Can i change ur diapers too........ WO abhi inhe alfaz k zehray jangle main sharmsari k murjhaye phool chun rahi hay.....sir dhun rahi hay wo ..... us nay us din se ankhon k jharnon se phoot parnay walay chashmay ko bht mazboot band bandhnay ki koshish ki magar ye ansoo aik sailab ki manind her band...

Mujhay ye kehnay main koi arr nahi k main nay ik chaudhary punjabi gharanay main ankh kholi jahan betiyon ko bojh he samjha jata hay...jahan behno ko dosray darjay ki makhlook aur biwi ko pairon ki jutti ka darja he milta hay.... Chaudhary'es ki monchain ho na hon....unki undekhi monch per aik taraf unki mardangi ka bojh dhara hota hay aur mouch ki dosri taraf unki zaat ka chota pan....unki ana unhain bazahir bohat mazboot bana deti hay per andar ki bat ye hay k wo onchay lambay qad k dekhnay walay log dil se bohat chotay hotay hain bohat he chotay aur boo'nay..... Ye Insan jaisay boonay dekhnay walay....khud ko Na khuda ka sa darja detay hain....kuch na hotay howay bhi...ye mushriq hain ....kyoon k ye hamaray zamini khuda banay howay hain....behiss...murda zameer...galat ko sahi kehnay walay....apni ana k bharam main aurton ko neecha dekhanay walay...jhoot ko sach aur sach ko jhoot ka libada uranay walay....zameeni khuda... Haqiqat main ye Allah ko mantay he kahan hain ye ...

Mohabat aur nafrat dono ko he tajdeed ki zaroorat rehti hay....Ye wo jazba hay jo her roz phalta phoolta hay...Nafrat aur mohabat dono he jazbay aisay hain k hum in k liye her had se guzar jatay hain...Nafrat insan ko ander he ander khatum ker daiti hay aur Mohabat ki shaah'khain phailti he jati hain....Mohabat aisa safar hay k musafir isay kerta kabhi bhi nahi thakta...Wo her samander aabore ker laita hay...her ghum seh laita hay...per us ko koi cheiz torti hay tou wo hay INTIZAR... Intizar aik aisay phool ki manind hay k agar musktasir hay tou lazzat aur agar na khatam honay wala ho tou Aag ka samander... Mohabat hoti hay tou hoti hay...ye shuru tou hoti hay epr iski koi haad nahi hoti...ye tou aik aisa darya hay jo bahay he jata hay...sairab he kiye jata hay....rukta nahi hay ye .... per jab intizar ki had khatum honay ko na aye tou Mohabat k safar k musafir toot jaya kertay hain...Dil per intizar ki kaiii jam jati hay na tou manzar dhundlay ho jatay hain...agar munasib deekh ...

Main ab thak c gai hon..bohat ziada....Wajood ki thakan ab rooh tak a ponchi hay...Jism ki nas nas main saraiyat ker gai hay.....ik iztirabi si kafiat taari rehti hay....na chain idher ko hay na he udher ko... Main bari mushkil say apnay apko duniya main mix up honay k liye khara kia tha...Per khalah sa abhi bhi...ik ajeeb sa...Main duniya se jitna bhi dor hona chahon wo saya phir khainch lata hay zindagi ki taraf...jeenay ki taraf.... Shayad main is masnoey muskurat ko saja saja ker adakari kertay tang agai hon...itna tang k kabhi kabhi dil kerta hay khud apna muh noch dalon.....zakhmi zakhmi ker dalon...aisa kerdon k khud meri apni shakal meri pehchan main na aa sakay... Kabhi kabhi sochti hon k agar dil pay lagay zakhm jism pe numayan hotay tou kia hota? hum sub kitnay daraonay hotay ...dekha bhi na jata aik dosray ki taraf yahan tak k khud apna chehra bhi... Dil k daag tou dhul jatay hain ansoo ki barish main per rooh k ghaow ka kia marham ho .... kon masiha ho... 18th Ju...

Main apnay lambhay onchay qad k bawajood khud apni he nazron main gir gain hon shayad....Apna mazar khud  bana dala maine....us per roz cherhaway charhati hon...ansoon'on k .... Bara lutf ata hay khud apnay ap ko ronay ka....aik aik bat khoon rulati hay...jab yaad ati hay...Ankhon se ansoo'on ki barish barasti hay tou dil o demagh per pari waqt ki be'rehem dhool matti bhi saaf nahi ho patti ...k un ki teh der teh is qadr jam gai hain k shayad sailab ka pani he usay baha lay jaye...... Mujhay nahi pata ye meri apnay ap say jang kab tak chalay ge....kia anjam hoga iska....Mujhay sirf ye pata hay k main apnay ap ko bohat peechay chore ai hon...shayad main jo thi wo ab main nahi hon....Mere dil main jo roz ranj o alum k laway phota kartay thay wo jam k teelay ban gaye hain...jo sailab ankhon se rawan hotay thay wo sokh k reh gaye hain.....Mere wajood main waqt nay bhanwar dal diye hain k koi meri zaat ki bhool bhalaiyon ko janna bhi chahe tou jaan nahi sakta ....k Bhanwar k...

Uski ankhon main nami dekh ker na janay kyoon mujhay kyoon kuch honay lagta hay...Mera bas nahi chalta kia ker k uski pareshaniyan uska dukh dor ker don...Bawajood is k keh wo aksar itna bura rawaiya ikhtiar ker laiti hay k bass per mujhay us per ziada der tak gussa rehta he nahi...Uski udasi mujhse bardash he nahi hoti... Shayad main us main apna ap dekhte hon...main us k dard ko mehsoos ker sakti hon ...jis umer main us k sir say maa ka saya utha wo bohat kam umr ki thi...Aur wo chaheye bataye na bataye main ye bat feel ker sakti hon k jab her taraf se thokarain perti hon tou insan kaisa feel kerta hay...Wo kaisa feel kerti hoge jab us ko koi dukh takleef hota hoga...dil dukhta hoga...kisi cheiz ko man kerta hoga...wo kis se kehti hoge....Maa betiyon k liye khas tor per aik dost aur aik ghana sayadar darakht hoti hay....betiyan apni sari batain maa say share ker k aik ajeeb sa itminan mehsoos kerti hain.. Hamaray maushray main larkiyon ki shadiyan shuru se he masla rahi hain...Maa ...

Jab jeewan safar main khudko tanha pao tou Jab khamosh ho bohat Aur batain kernay ko dil chaheye tou Jab dil ko chain na aram aye tou Jab saath guzray lamhat ki yaad tumko sataye tou Tum loat k ajana....... Hum nai safar ko saath chalain gay....

Wo moam c dkhnay wali guriya si larki ajj zindagi k guzray lamhat ko yaad ker k bohat roi..Guzray dino ki yaadon ne us k dil o demagh ko mabhoos ker k rakh dia tha... Wo zindagi k sehra main tanha bhatakti phir rahi thi...Dor dor tak kisi qism k saaye ka nishan nahi thi..na he koi borha bargad ka paid he tha k jis main ghari bhar ko lambay safar ki  thakan wala insan ghari bhar ko dam bhar lay... Phir youn howa k wo apnnay khawab o khayal ki duniya se nikal ker duniya ki haqeeqaton main jeene lagi...Usko mohabat ho gaye khud apnay he aks say...Wo jo mohabat ko dhoka samajhti thi...lafzon ka khail samajhti thi...Us main uska qasoor tha bhi nahi ...Usko her ristay say beaetibari k siwa aur kuch mila jo na tha...Us k aetimad ka khoon kernay walay he us k apnay thay...gair to gair hota hay.... Wo apnay aks say batain kerti...ahista ahista wo uski aadi hoti gai...itni aadi hogai jaisay khud koi apna aadi hota hay...Mohabat kuch nahi hoti walay saray kitabi falsafay dharay k dharay ...

Ankhain bata rahi hain wo soi nahi pagli.... Shayad bohat roi bhi hay... Ajab mizaj paya hay ... kabhi hanstay hanstay ro parti hay aur kabhi rotay rotay hans perti hay... Ankhon main surkh doray lehra rahay hain ... palkain bheegi bheegi si ... chehra zard sa... be'kal si phir rahi hay kabhi idher kabhi udhar... Na janay kia roag pal bethi hay... kabhi pehron soch main dobay rehna aur kabhi bat kertay kertay chonk jana... bazahir sab sahi hay.... per ander ander kuch tou toota hay.... Ankhain masalti hay tou ankhon main khirchiyan he khirchiyan hain... Shayad koi khawab toota hay... 13th July 2012

Main nay kabhi kisi ko baddua nahi de...na he koi aisa irada hay...magar ab ik khawahish hay meri...shayad ajeeb si ....shayad pagli si .... Per jin logon nay meray dukh ko takleef ko nazar andaz kia dolat k garoor main....Unki zindagi main sirf aik din aisa zaroor aye k wo na so sakain .... na jaag sakain ... chain na aye unko... Aur us waqt mera chehra un k tasavur main zaroor aye...aur...tab unhain ahsas ho k main roz aisay tarapti thi... aisay jalti thi ....aisay bujhti thi.... Main nay dil ki slate se ab sub kuch mita dia hay... Meri aah hay ye ... ye raigan nahi jaye ge... Mujhay bohat durd hota hay ... nakabil e bardash had tak... Meri ye bhi khawahish hay ab k jab jab main roon ansoo un ankhon se bhi niklain jinhon nay mujhay rulaya...jinhon nay mujhay sataya...itna sataya k mere sabr ka paimana ab labraiz ho chuka hay...siskon ge agar main tou khush koi bhi na reh paye ga... Itna tou mera bhi haq hay ALLAH per k main us se insaaf mangon...aur wo karay ga bhi...itna ya...

Wo aik larki thi....Waise he aam se larki jaisi sub hoti hain...rangon ko dekh ker khush honay wali....titliyon k peechay deewana war bhagnay wali...Chand ko pehron takna aur us say batain kerna ...Barish hoti tou geeli mitti ki sondhi sondhi khushboo apnay banjar khushq man angan main utar lainay wali...phoolon ko dekh ker pagal ho janay wali...khushboo se pyar kernay wali...Khawab dekhnay wali aur phir in khawabon ko orh k so janay wali.....wohi aik aam si larki... Usko her cheiz se pyar tha siwaiye apnay... Na janay anjanay main apnay ap se kia bair laga bethi thi... Khud ko zik pochanay ka koi moqa na janay deti thi...Wo dosron se badlay na lainay wali... apnay ap se badlay nikalti tou jano usay na aisa kernay per dukh hota na takleef... Wo aksar sochti k log aisa kyoon kehte hain k mausam insano per bhi asar andaz hota hay... Jab bahar barish barasti aur piyasi zameen sairab hoti tou us waqt bhi us k dil main pat jhar ka sa saman hota... Aik he mausam teher gaya ho jaisay.... ...

Kal shab e barat thi....Shehr e khamoshan main ronak he ronak....bohat sa chiragan...phoolon ki khushboo se moater fiza ... phoolon se saji pyaron ki qabrain...Main dang ki dang reh gaye.... Maray howon ko ye mohabat k cherhaway cherhanay walay log... kia log hain....? Kia log hain ye log ? Jeete howon ko jeete jee mar daitay hain... Sansanin kheench lete hain... rag rag se khoon nichore dete hain...aur maray howon ko yaad ker k rotay hain...

Quran may aya hay k jo dosron ko paraishaniyon ka khayal nahi kerta...Allah uski paraishani ka khayal nahi kerta... Allah k yahan bhi BARTER SYSTEM ka sa he rivaj raij hay... Jinhain apnay dilon k strong honay ka bohat naz hota hay...Wo Allah k yahan bohat kamzor hotay hain...k Allah nay narmi ka hukum dia hamaisha... Hazrat Ali k farman ka mafhoom hay k KIsi bhi shaks ki zaroorat ka tum se mansoob hona ya umeed wabasta hona ...Allah ka karam hay us insan per k ...Allah nay us shaks ko chuna kisi ki zarooraton ko pora kernay k liye...per ye dolat k matam kertay pojari....Dolat ki hawis nay inhe itna andha ker rakha hay k gin gin k ahsan kertay hain....KIA INHAIN BHI ALLAH GIN GIN KER DAITA HAY....? Nahin na ....? Wo tou be hisab deta hay... Zindagi bhar insan ik dosray ko impress kernay k liye usper invest kerta hay...Kon hay jo ALLAH k liye investment kerta ho... Ye Shirq kernay walay log Kafir nahi hain kia....? Ye shirq nahi tou kia hay k Wo khud ko ZAMEENI KHUDA ya na Khud...

Ankhon se neendain tou usi din rooth bethi thin jis din zindagi ki talkhiyan samajh anay lagi thin per dekha jaye tou shayad main ye sub umer k us hissay se he mehsoos kernay lagi thi jab meray mitti k gharonday aur guriya'on say khailnay k din thay....Mujhay in talkhiyon k aasaib nay her dam dara ker he rukha...Mujhay jitna der lagta rehta utna he ye aasaib mujhay akaila paa ker mujhay her so daranay chalay atay...Meri ander ki sansain ander aur baher ki baher reh jatin main kisi ko kuch keh he nahi pati... Rafta rafta ye asaaib mere dost ban gaye....Pakkay dost....In asaaib'on nay mujhay itna mazboot ker dia k Mere Aasab itnay mazboot ho gaye k phir zindagi bhar ghamon ki koi andhi ....koi tornido....koi sailab mujhay meri jaga say na hila saka....Main nay her cheiz ka dut k muqabala kia...Main ne ghamon ko dukh ko apnay ander utar lia...jaisay ye meri zaat ka bichra howa hissa he hon... Main chalti gai....Chalti gai.....Aur Chalti he jarahi hon....Pata nahi kab tak...Is te...

Main nay jab jab logon se mohabat ki mujhay thukra dia gaya...main ander tak toot gai.....meri zaat raiza raiza ho gai...main roi bohat tarpi..........laga jaisay sub khatum hogaya .........phir mujhay US(Allah) nay pannah di jisay main nay bhulaya tou nahi tha per mera yaqeen shayad danwadol ho gaya tha........phir Us k darbar main jo roi main tou ik qarar mila......k wo tou hamaisha mere saath tha...aur main khud ko akaili kehti rahi...tanha samajhti rahi.....roti rahi ....wah waila kerti rahi.......... Mujhay US (Allah) se bat ker k ik sakoon mila.....jo sakoon main duniya bhar main dhondti aye thi...wo mujhay Meray RAB nay dia....main Ashiq ban gai......US ki zaat ki.....Kaisay mukamal si lagnay lagi apni zaat.... Tamana hay k US k rang main rang jaon........duniya heech lagay us k Pyar k agay.....Main bas uski he ho k rahon.....Duniya ki lagzishon say bacha lay mera RAB mujhay....Meray Mehboob mujhay ....k wo tou mujh se itna pyar kerta hay ....itna pyar kerta hay.....k uska tou...

Jab jab maazi k ghum meri zaat k saath Ammar bail ki terha aker chimat jatay hain tab tab bas sirf ik he baat mujhay rahat deti hay...Bas ik tera he nam Jab Jab Rooh khandar jism main aker chupay howay zakmon ko chairti hain tab tab sirf in zakhmon ko sirf ik he bat se qarar ata hay.....Bas ik terha he nam Jab Jab chanchal hawa wiran ghar k darwazay khat'khatati hay...tab tab is larzida jism ko sakoon sirf milta hay tou to wo tu hay....Bas ik terha he nam Tere nam ki mala japti rehti hon tou Din bhar ka jaisay wazeefa sa mukamal ho jata hay.... Namaz e Ishq ........Dil k Jaa aey namaz per ada kerti hon....por por tera tazkira kerta hay....Rooh main ik sarshari si ajati hay.....Zakhmon pay maryam sa lagnay lagta hay..... Main kyoon tum se rooth k bethi .... Main ye bethi soch rahi hon... Tum Aik Aur  Itnay kam..... Fehmida Chaudhary 19 June 2012

Main ik aisay mor per khari hon jahan khud apni khabar nahi mujhko.....per ye pata hay k main akaili hon .... bilkul akaili....... Kabhi sayon say behla rahi thi khudko kabhi wahimon main uljha rakha tha....Shayad khud ko khilona bana rakha tha....per ab aur himmat nahi......Mujhay khud ko khud he sahara dena hay...Jo k bohat muskhil kam hay.... Mera wajood khokhala sa ho k reh gaya hay.....khooni rishton nay khoon nachora rag rag se tou doston nay khilona he samajh lia ......wo jo kuch zindagi bachi thi na meray ander usko Dostiyon ki demak nay chaaat lia... Mera dil khander zada hay jahan maazi ki yaadain aasaib ki manind idher se udher mandlati phirti hain....in say khoon risssta rehta hay.... Jhooti tasaliyan ...jhootay saath k an kahay waday ....Ankhon ki putliyon main teher say gaye thay....bohat roi hon.... Ankhain masal masal ker bari mushkil say in khawabon ko ankhon ki putliyon say mitaya hay maine.... Bari mushkil say is faraib k dairay say bahir aye hon...k Haqiqat phir...

Bawajood is k ...keh... main nay apnay gird ik aahini foladi devar ka hisar tameer kia howa hay...kabhi kabhi ye dil apni raah say hat ker dharak he uthta hay....ye dil na janay kyoon bachon ki c harkat kerta hay.... ik bar raah say hat'tah hay tou zid pe ar jata hay....arzoo'on ko khawahishon ko pori kernay k liye aisay rota hay jaisay koi bacha khilonay k liye....per ye is DIL ka bachpana jata he kahan hay...Dil tou bacha hay na...zidi anari alher....nasamajh sa....... Is aahini devar say aik faida tou mujhay ye bhi hay k ab mausamon ki shiddat...Badaltay chehray mere dil per asar andaz hotay he nahi....Her chotay chotay ghum ka matam apnay is hissar main he mana laiti hon....ajab he saman hota hay....yadon ki qandeelain...ahsas ki khushboo...char soo hoti hay aur sirf main he main hoti hon... Mujhay yaad hay mujhay tanhai say kitna khauf ata tha.....Aur ab ye aalam k tanhai mujh se khauf khati hay... waqt kis qadr badal daitay hay saray manzar... saray ahsasat... Maine...

Log kehtay hain Moat bari aziat nak hoti hay....Na janay aisa kyoon kehtay hain ye log ??? Meri nazr main zindagi say bara koi aazaar nahi...Ye terpati hay ...siskati hay... girati hay phir uthati hay...ik ajab he alam hota hay zindagi k safar ka ..... hamain ye khush fehmi k hum apni zindagi guzar rahay hain .... Zindagi ko ye saroor k wo FATEH E AALAM hay.... maftoo hay...hum is zaum main k sub hamaray hathon main hay...

Ab Log lay k aye hain soraj khaloos k Jab roshni Chiragh ki nee'lam ho chuki Tu he mujhko dhoond lay Ae manzil e Nishat Main tou teri talash main naqam ho chuki Jo Aurat Bahar ki duniya ko chore ker Ghar ki char devari ko apni duniya banati hay usay kabhi bhi bahar ki duniya main pannah nahi milti....Ye alag baat k Zindagi k sehra main kai bar us k wajood ki thaki howi aurat usay jhanjorti hay ...Us say uski pehchan mangti hay.....Per wo aurat khud apni zaat k nam o nishan ko apnay he pairon talay rondh ker agay berh jati hay....Routine work anjam denay k liey...  Aurat duniya ghar k kamon main pehlay "apna ghar" mad e nazar rakhti hay...Pehlay ye kam kerlon ....Wo kam kerlon...Bachon shohar ki kamyabiyon per is terha khush hoti hay jaisay wo khud uski apni kamyabi ho....Ghar k bahar NAME PLATE per shohar betay ka nam dekh ker uska dil masroor sa rehta hay...Jaisay ye award usko khudko mila ho...Wo is raj dahani ki Rani ban ker khudko duniya main motabir samajti hay......

Aisa nahi hay k ab mujhay durd nahi hota....Hota hay magar ab lafzon main bayan nahi hota...jism ki nass'on may khoon ki terha gardish kerta howa...her jaga pohanch jata hay .... rawan dawan ...idher se udhar....udhar se idher... Ye to mudaton say aalam hay meray dil ka k na hansta hay aur na he rota hay...Na he maazi dil main chubhta hay aur na he ainda ka kuch socha hay... dhuwan dhuwan say manzar ki dhundli shamon main perchaiyan si charon janib phirti rehti hay...meri zaat ka tawaaf kerti rehti hain ... Aaahatain sunai deti hain ... ik manoos say qadmon ki chaap...per pechay mur k dekhti hon tou kuch bhi nahi hota...na he saya hota hay aur na he wahima ...per kuch tou hay tou hotay howay bhi nazar nahi ata...Shayad meri apni zaat ka aks...meri rooh ki pyas.... mera hamnawa....mera hamdam...ya shayad mera apna he Hamzad........per ye samnay kyoon nahi ata....kyoon chupta phirta hay mujhse ....main is k peechay dor dor k thak k chor hogai hon....aablay per gaye hain meray pairo...

Apnay honay ka ahsaas to her kisi ko hota hay ... Honay k ahsaas ki khushi bhi manai jati hay...kabhi kisi terha to kabhi kisi terha....Chalo kuch anokha kertay hain ....Ajj apnay na honay ka ghum manatay hain....Kabhi be tahasha hans ker kabhi betahasha roo ker...Kabhi shakista dil ki an mit siyahi say dil k warq warq per zindagi ki be saro samani ki dastan likhtay hain....Ajj kyon na wo sab bhi likhain jo ab tak dil main tou hay magar qalam kabhi kaghaz per tehreer he na ker paya...per ye soch tou soch hay kabhi ati hay tou kabhi jati hay...per iska koi anjam nahi .. Kabhi kabhi apni zaat samander main chotay chotay teelon jaisi lagti hay...jis k ird gird khawahishon ka ...lahasil tamanaon ka , be rabt sochon ka lawa, be ant kahaniyan chore machati ...aa aa ker in teelon se sir takrati hain aur zakhmi ho k lot jati hain....Zakhmi sochon se raat din laho rissta hay .... takleef ka alam na pocho per ye aziat pasandi khud ko pasand he itni hay k is k dairay say nikalnay ko khud dil b...

Zindagi ik aisi ma'la hay jjis k moti kab bikhar jain pata he nahi... Kabhi din gin gin k kat'te hain aur kabhi aisay guzartay hain k lagta hay waqt ko jaisay per lag gaye hon... Zindagi aur moat  k dermiyan bari pur tajassus  jang jari rehti hay ...aisa lagta hay Zindagi kisi bhi waqt maa'at khanay wali hay laikin Moat aisi hay k maa'at khati aur peechay hat'te chali jati hay..Halan k bila akhir jeet moat ki he hoti hay... Moat kabhi kabhi itni ba-ikhtiar hoti hay k aik sans k leenay k bad dosra sans bhi lainay nahi deti . Aur kabhi kabhi paida hotay he mar dalti hay....aur aksar itni bay ikhtiar aur majbor ho jati hay k din maheeno saal guzar jatay hain magar insan ko mar nahi pati.... Zindagi aur moat ki ye kashmakash na janay kab se jari hay..kab tak jari hay aur kab tak jari rahay ge...

SORAT aur Seerat amomun ik dosray ki zid waqiya howi hain..Bohat he kam in main itefaq aur hum ahangi dekhni ko milti hay...Khobsurati Allah ki dain hay aur Khoob seerati banday k apnay ikhtiar main hoti hay...Wo banda chahay to apni seerat se logon ko apna garweeda bana lay ya phir unhain khud apnay ap se mutnafur ker day k koi us say milna ya bat kerna bhi pasand na karay... Aap isay mera pagal pan keh lain magar mujhay ye kisi taur bhi gawara nahi k koi meri SEERAT ko maili nazar  say dekhay Kyoon k meri nazar main SEERAT  soorat say ziyada aham hay... Shayad Log mujhay Pagal samjhain magar mujhay ye apna pagal pan apni soorat aur seerat dono se ziada dilkash lagta hay.... 

Jab insan khud apni zaat ko tazheek ka nishana banata ho .... Log uski masoomiat aur saadgi ka faida uthate hon aur wo ye sub jaante bojhtay howay bhi her bat nazar andaz ker jata ho... Jab rooh ko cheer dainay walay teer kaman se alfaz us k dil ko band kerdainay k liye kafi hon phir bhi wo isay bardash ker k muskurata ho.......tou ......samajh lo.....Us shaks nay apnay ander aik qabr bana li hay jis main wo ey sub madfun kerta jaraha hay...bazahir hanstay howay chehray k peechay bohat kuch aisa hay jo wo kisi ko bata nahi sakta....shayad khud ko bhi nahi.....Ye wo muqam hota hay jisay hum KHUD AZIATI ka muqam kehte hain..... Khud aziati ka bhi aik alag he maza hota hay..is main ap dosron k kiye gaye zulm ka badla apnay ap say laitay hain....is liye nahi k ap buzdil hotay hain...isliye k ap zehni tore per itnay strong hotay hain k ap unki ye gair insani harkat ko mauf ker daitay hain....Mauf kerdaina kisi aam insan ka kam hergiz nahi...Ye kam wohi ker saktay hain jo khud aziati k mar...

Haan mujhay ye kehnay main koi jhijhak nahi k main ab bhag bhag ker hanp chuki hon...magar ab mujhay na he bhagna hay...na ummedain lagani hay...Na he koi rishta nibhana hay kisi se bhi....Mujhay seerab k peechay mazeed waqt barbad nahi kerna....Mujhay ab kisi se na koi umeed hay na hoge ... Lafzon k khilariyon se milker kia kerna...jinhain soye khawab jagana ata hay usay nibhana nahi...Mujhay aetiraf hay main haar chuki hon....apni zaat se...logon se...maushray se...per main ik jang nahi haari....gir ker sambhalanay wali jang......magar is girnay uthnay main jo zakhm aye hain na mujhay unki kharashon k nishan an=mitt hain.... Aaas ki dori jab tak hath main rehti hay aas rehti hay tabdeeli ki...muqader sanwar janay ki, tanhai se chutkara panay ki....TOU....ab chore di wo dor ....Aass ki dor... Logon k maqbaray un k mrnay k bad bantay hain....Mere pass tou koi nahi jo ye tarudud bhi karay ga...tou ajj se behissi k cement se apnay wajood ki kirchiyon se bani enton se apnay gird main i...

Kehte hain kisi bhi bemari ka ilaj kerwana Sunnat e nabwi hay...Shuru shuru main tou mujhay apni bemari samajh he nahi ati thi...her bat per hurt hona...achai k badlay burai..jin k hath paker ker khara kerna chaha wohi palat k gira detay thay...Main doctor to nahi per is marz ko bila akhir aik din diagnose ker he lia...jee han mujhay sincerity ka virus shaheed tarah se attack ker chuka tha ...aur tashweesh ki baat ye k iski vacine abhi ijad howi he nahi.. Pta nahi kaisi duniya hay jin logon ki rahon main khushyon k phool bhakairnay ki jidojahad hum ker rahay hotay hain wohi hamaray pairon talay se hamari zameen khainchnay k der per hotay hain.... Rehem ata hay mujhay un logon per jo Smart bannay k chakkar main Apna wahid hamdard bhi kho beth'tay hain....waise hamaisha unhain logon se shikayat he rehti hay k ajj kal koi kisi ka nahi....Aray jo apno ka sa bartao ker raha hay usko tou chore do ...us k saath tou chal'ain na chalo....uska tou dil na dikhao..phir bat kertay hain ......

Main ik beti hon maa baap ki izzaton pay qurban ho janay wali...Un k her dukh dard main saath nibhanay wali..Un k liye pamal ho janay wali...... Main ik bewi hon  Ik tamana ka sheher jahaiz main saath lanay wali larki..In umeedon k saath k ab meri zindagi main zakhon pay marham laganay wala shah'kaar meri zindagi main agaya hay...ye sochne wali larki... Per qismat ki siyahi tou aik he thi na muqadar bhi wohi raha.. Wo shaks bhi khilari tha us ko apnay siwa sub bura lagta tha ... Wo khud apna pujari ap tha...Hath berha ker usko ahsaas e kamtari k atha samandar say nikalte howay pata na tha k bahar ate he usne apnay mohsin ko he wapis dakhailna hay ....Aur wo khud kinaray per khara meri hansi urata raha ...kehkahay lagata raha... gungunata raha ...Main doobti rahi...Main roti rahi... Tarapti rahi...Aur phir ghar ko aag lag gai ghar k chiragh se......Maine khamoshi ko apna hamsafar bana lia...Ye naya hamsafar kabhi tou dil k konay main beth ker saray manzer dekhta rehta....aur kab...

Ajeeb halat si rehti hay Neend ankhon main bhari rehti hay... Khawabon ki jadugari rehti hay... Kabhi kabhi lagta hay k main yahin kahin hon... Kabhi lagta hay k bekhabari hay... Kabhi lagta hay k safar e mazil ki taraf rawan dawan hain... Kabi lagta hay k ajeeb c darbadari hay... Hum khush paton ki terha hain... Shakhe imqan magar hamaisha hari rehti hay... Meray rooh k zakhm bhar he nahi patay.... Umr bhar kyooon chara gari rehti hay.... Kab khatum hoga ye zest ka safar Ajab he dard sari rehti hay............. Naumeedi ay her so meray...Lagta hay phir bhi Ye duniay bhi kab say umeed per khari hay....

Hum jaan se jain gay tab he baat banay ge Tum se tou koi raah nikali nahi jati.... Meri pori zindagi ik qabristan main guzri... jahan chaltay phirte sans laitay bazahir zinda log dikhti thi magar un k dilon main sard mohri ki ka'i jami howi thi...umr guzr gai k shayad is ka'i say koi mohabat ka kanwal bhi janam lay le...shayad qurbaniyon k shabnami qatray is dabeez kai ko qatra qatra ker k is main mohabat ki khusboo bhakhair day.... magar nahi... Dunyawi Nakhuda apni badshahat k takht ko khud kaisay ulat day ga... Ana parasti aur behissi jab rooh main halool ho ker jism o jaan say amar bail ki terha chimmat jaye tou ... Banda phir banda nahi rehta ... wo khud ko dewta samajhnay lagta hay.... Main nay qaid ba mushaqat kati hay... Meri rooh per lagay ghaow mujhay bechain kertay thay tou thapak thapak k unko sulati thi......sabr ki lori day ker... Kabhi hans ker ... Kabhi roo ker... Safar kathin tha ... Safar kathin hay ... Aoo aur sambhalo mjhay.... Apnay bulang o...

Pehlay main chat say pehron batain kerti thi chat k ik makhsoos konay main beth ker....kabhi hans ker kabhi roo ker...per phir janay chand ko kia howa...main jab us say batain kerti wo chup jata kabhi badlon ki oat main kabhi aasman pay sufaid bikhri roe k galon main... main tarap uthti k mera wahid dost meri kisi bat pe ab pehlay ki terha tawajoo deta he nahi.....uski is berukhi ka sadma jatey jatey chala he gaya ....per meri Chand se mohabat kam nahi howi....main ab bhi us ko usi pyar se usi lagan se dekhti hon jaisay us k badalnay se pehlay .... meray zehan k ik goshay main ye bat mehfooz hay k meray dukh dard k lamhat ka raaz dan raha hay wo ... aur main kabhi kisi ka ahsan nahi bholti... chaheye wo soi jitna kyoon na ho... meri zidangi bemole si hay..ye hamaisha apnay ap ko tarazo k dosray palray main neecha pati hay...aur dosray ko oncha...meray napnay ka paimana shayad fault zada hay...per iska koi cure ab hay he nahi......main khud ko badal he nahi sakti....shayad meri kafiat m...

Phir dil udas hay...phir nas nas main zehreli sochain khoon ki jaga dorrti phir rahi hain...Phir kuch toota hay ander he ander...Magar ..... Kia..... ? Na janay kia...tootay wajood main phir aik gunjaish nikal aye aik bar aur tootne ki....Kuch tou toota hay per kia toota hay...Dil....nahi nahi....Wo tou kab ka toot chuka hay...us main ab sakat baqi kahan hay ... Astarkari ki gunjaish bhi nahi ab tou us main... Tou ye awaz kaisi aye .....? Shayad Aetibar toota hay... Shayad Wo jo khush fehmiyon ka jaal bunna tha na main nay.... wo toota hay... Haan shayad aisa he hay.... Per mujhay ye paraishani kaisi....? Mujhay tou aadat hay..... Roz toot k bikhar janay ki.... Phir khud he himmat ker k simmat janay ki... Aur simmat k dobara bikhar janay k intizar ki.... Aur is amul ko bar bar hotay dekhtay janay ki.... Shayad Aadatain kabhi khatum nahi hoti..... SHayad Bar bar tootnay k amul say lay ker jurnay k amal tak Hum apni zaat ki bunyadon main Mazeed sabr ki pukhtagi ka ...

Zindagi main khushi ghum ki miqdar kabhi kam aur kabhi ziada ho jati hay... Her insan ka zindagi ko us ki mushkilat ko aur khushyon ko expressed karnay ka tareeqa different hota hay...Wo apnay lihaz say halat o waqiyat ko soch samajh ker tackle kerta hay... Kyoon k wo bether tore per janta hay k us k kis action ka kia result samnay aye ga....us k nuqsanat kia hain aur fawaid kia hasil honge... Per kabhi kabhi aisa bhi hota hay ap thak jatay ho ...himmmat har dete ho... aur halat k samany dhair ho jatay ho k Lo Hamari jaan tumharay hawalay....Ker lo jo kerna hay.... Ye wo lamha hota hay jab hum jeetay jagtay insan hotay howay bhi jeena chore daitay hain... Wo ye qurb ka wo alam hota hay jab ap bhari duniya main khud ko tanha patay ho...Sab k hotay howay bhi ap kisi k nahi hotay aur na koi ap ka hota hay.... Us nay bhi aisa he kia tha ..... BUS .... Jeena chore dia tha.... Aur phir zindagi nay kaisay kaisay tamashay dekhai..... Kin kin chehron say naqab uthai... Zindagi ki un haq...

Na Umeedi ka zeher jab aik dafa ap ki sochain main ghul jaye tou ap Aas k tamam daman chore daitay ho...Kuch acha nahi lagta ... Apna ap bhi....dil o demagh per yasiat ki gird jam jati hay... sans laina dobhar lagta hay... Zindagi itni durdnak hay tou moat ka kia alam hoga... Hum duniya k haray howay wahan kia umeed karain gay wahan k liye ... Meray Malik mujhay is bat ka jawab chaheye ... Mere saath aisa kyoon hota hay... jisko ungli pakar k chalna sikhati hon..wo chalnay per sub say pehlay mujhay he apnay qadmon tallay rond dalta hay... Kisi k saath jitni dore bhi chalon... usko jab chorna ho wo chore jata hay... Jis ki dhal ban ker usko dosron ki kankariyon se bachao wo mehfooz ho ker sab say pehla waar he mujh per kerta hay... Badla na laina meri fitrat hay...Log isay meri kamzori gardante hain... Meri khamoshi mere ander bardash ki had khatum honay ka ailan kerti hay... Main perfect nahi... Main perfect ho bhi nahi sakti... Per main duniya jaisi bhi nahi hona chahti....

Her Nafs hukum e Khuda hay, Her Qadam Jeh'day Hayyat... Is say agay aur aqday main nay suljhaye nahi... Duniya .... ??? Loag.....??? Faraiz...??? Haqooq...??? Ghum...??? Khushi...??? In si sub k ird gird ghoomti hay hamari zindagi ...Duniya jo kabhi na kisi say khush howi hay na hogi... Loag jo matlab k waqt he aik dosray ko pehchantay hain....Faraiz jo hum ada kerna nahi chahtay aur Haqooq jo hum hasil kerna chahte hain....Ghum jo zindagi ka hissa hain aur in k anay aur janay k bad  bhi hum isko nahi bhool patay...Khushi aik aisa amrit jo hum peetay hain aur bhool jatay hain... Hum pori zindagi hasil hasool k chakkar main paray rehtay hain ... kabhi yahan kabhi wahan... Kabhi kisi k chehray ki taraf dekhtay hain kabhi kisi k .... Duniya ka khauf hamain .... Khud hamara honay say bhi rok daita hay... Hum logon k khauf say apnay jeenay ki rahain bhi nazr andaz ker daitay hain... Hum duniya k khauf say us wahid ROZAN ko bhi band ker daina chahtay hain jo hamaray liye zarya e tanaf...